You sacrificed your son to save me. I sacrificed my life to pursue you, a young man chasing after God’s heart. How could an unborn heart be unclean? What is the point? I felt a part of me wanting to be selfish and walk away from a profession that requires self sacrifice. Remember how the heart can deceive us? How foolish of me to trust myself but I give my complete trust with an unknown communication. What do I do when the investment runs dry? I believed in my purpose and what I was doing. I did it not for transactional incentives but because I believed in developing others.
How do you speak to deaf ears that choose to hear solely their own thoughts? How do people play victim and not take responsibility for their own life and decisions. I live in the consequences of other’s decisions and I choose to bear this frustration nobly and use my spirit to navigate through the friction.
You see my desires in my heart and dreams of holding her hand while we navigate through the chaos of life and the complexity of mankind. I’ll do it alone, I’ll do my best and I’ll be the unblessed man that no one wants to be.
Tell me about fearing you. That I’ll gain wisdom and keep me from sin. I should fear you because you take away to prove or be a part of this plan. only you know and share. Allow me to ask about fears you have seen. It’s the lost limbs, senses, vision and the worst of all the, mind. How can you be alive and use the beautiful mind with a defect which was created by a masterful artist? Do you remember my fears and the ones I conquered and persevered? I was raised to endure and to conquer. Why do I have to conquer you? Why isn’t love just enough between you and I? I can’t hear and see you but you see everything I’ve done like the subconscious of my mind. So tell me God, I’ve taken responsibility and given you the credit and called it a gift. A responsibility that I knew would cause pain. To be love and be a replacement in someone’s life.
I have given my best and I begin to stand knowing that one day I’ll be struck down. One day I’ll stand knowing that it would be my last. Just so I can stand next to a Father I never really had.
No reply needed, I don’t understand the language yet.
Inspired Knight 