Replay

How short life is when all the memories that come racing to you in your last moment.

I pray to God to rewind to the moments that I’ve felt the most gratitude..

The precious moments where I was happiest.

When I was vibrant and in my creative groove.

Sharing it with those other wild ones expressing their colors. 

Stacey and her blue eyes and answering all her questions 

And Dante listening to my gossip and driving around the city. 

Each of us bleeds onto the world that we have gone through and seen suffering. 

Rewind to the stars that I’d admired and chased for so long and to realize that they stood near me all along.

The winter night as Gabi and I looked at the stars above in curious and cozy thoughts.

Rewind to the early mornings and being kissed by the rays of the sun. Peeking to see my waking soul take on the day

Running in the morning with the Marines. Shouting cadence in step, in rhythm with heavy breaths and complaints that made me smile.  

Replay the moments of dancing and sharing the chemistry of our bodies and producing joy in the world.

Learning to dance with Caiti and Gabi. Watching them produce their own joy into the world that I could see. That I wouldn’t be able to replicate. I’ve watched in admiration and adornment. 

Replay the moments of our first kiss and ignite the passion we once shared. 

Closing the distance and driving to see Megan. Talking with my Madre and seeking advice. Just for her to say, “Why not just go see her?” I had to see her again before I left the state. I got so close with her and our kiss connected under the moon and stars. 

Transcending through time that affects me today.

Replay the moments when we finally realized our love was true and you smiled upon us. 

Do the angels sing? 

Can we rewind to the times as the happy kid that didn’t understand the world in front of him.

Curious about what man could be capable of. 

Running, jumping and feeling throughout life.

Can you rewind to the moments I was quiet and profound. Searching for the answers eyeing the cosmos and what lies beyond?

Standing in the cold allowing it to numb my body. Drunk and loving life as I searched for answers. 

And maybe, we could have that moment I’ve been praying for. 

And maybe we can sit down and go over all the things I did wrong. It seems I don’t have much time, so please. Replay the good moments that I won’t be able to shed a tear, my heart overwhelmed, and my spirit releases into the great beyond.