ICU December 15th, 2021 2:21am

“Did you have enough time to grieve?” I smiled and asked, “Is a lifetime enough?” The psychologist looks into my eyes and says, “Do you need to come back” “No, I’m singing the same tune, and everyone’s heard it. I just wanted to make sure I’m good and not have a negative influence on my marines, thank you”.…

Reminder To Continue Your Journey

“It may take you a couple of years, but don’t you think you’ll savor and experience a gratitude you’ve never experienced before. Won’t you be able to have the right eyes to see and heart to feel when you arrive. Won’t you get a chance to teach with a story to tell and lesson to be felt.”

Remembrance

“I am very proud of you and you being here tonight reminded me so much of myself, not physically but spiritually. You are living what I felt when I carried you and know already that you will be and carry out.”

Heart

“At that point in my life my soul was tired, tattered and lost. Like the boots that have been worn through all terrain and weather. I can get new boots but I had to learn to renew my soul.”

Gratitude

Simple Medical Physical I waited in the lobby before the Corpsman called me into the room. We did our formalities, and she asked me, “why do you want to become an officer.” I used to ask that question many times over in my career. The frustrations I’ve dealt with at my level and thinking about dealing with those…

Prompt

And what of my love that I have sacrificed? That it seems futile and foolish to be a lionheart. To be vulnerable to the world that will always take. My soul strives to be light within, and if I must go, allow it to flourish and water the seeds I’ve planted throughout my life. And remind them to…

Replay

“And maybe we can sit down and go over all the things I did wrong. It seems I don’t have much time, so please. Replay the good moments that I won’t be able to shed a tear, my heart overwhelmed, and my spirit releases into the great beyond.”

Pursuing Greatness

“I can’t shake that feeling that it wasn’t that they didn’t care. It was that it didn’t matter to them as much as it mattered to me. I can’t blame them for it.”

Dear God,

“I can’t hear and see you but you see everything I’ve done like the subconscious of my mind.”

Do you see me?

“Your future family depends on it.”

Mom and Jake (fourth and fifth grade)

I don’t know what happened between the spilt. My mom’s relationship with her long term boyfriend. We stayed under his house in Crystal River and some of our clothes were thrown out. I don’t remember but I knew mom was upset. I’ve seen her rampant emotions come alive. I’ve blocked out a lot of it, just like everything…

Dreams

“I placed my hand on his heart and felt every beat of flooding blood.”

The weight

Blessed for the burdens that weigh upon me; to gain resilient strength for the destiny that beckoned me?

9/10 incorrect

“If God or the universe really doesn’t want me to do this; I’m going to have to be medically separated or die before I change my mind.”

He Reminds Me

He couldn’t tell you when it began. The heaviness of his heart with no place to go besides his head. The muddied mind and strong spirit; his direction in life was set ablaze He couldn’t tell you what went wrong growing up, He forgot about the sexual assault and bad things seemed to come in intervals. It was…

Post read: The Fall by Albert Camus

I couldn’t tell you where I found this book. I might have received it from the Marines in supply giving books away. I may have found it striking because of the interesting black and white cover and the author I might have heard. The Fall by Albert Camus is narrated by Jean-Baptiste Clamence and he directly talks to…

Love and Dreams

I was laying down in the evening for some time. Dreaming about the night and watching myself fall asleep. The room was lit from the string of nearby lights. I heard her voice mumbling through the hall outside the room. The door was open and I felt her presence in the doorway watching me sleep. She shut the…

Extreme Ownership Post Read

I finished reading Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin. I couldn’t have read a better book during the time I’m reevaluating my discipline. At my current duty station at Camp Lejeune, I found myself in a work environment of complacent and plateauing on all levels of myself. The Marine Corps wants individuals to focus on developing…

Failure

I ran at full sprint with ammunition cans in my hands across the finishing cone. As I tried to stop and place down the ammo cans I slipped onto my back and quickly got up to see the Martial Arts Instructor Trainer to give me the time. “2 minutes and 29 seconds” he barked. I turned around and…

Seek to have a Memorial Moment Each Day

I think of Lieutenant Michael Murphy as the Memorial Day weekend comes. A Navy Seal earning the Medal of Honor for his conspicuous gallantry during operation enduring freedom. In president Bush’s address for the ceremony. There is a statement he makes that becomes highlighted. “Yet his grace and upbringing never deserted him. Though severely wounded, he said “thank…

Soft rain

Soft rain Droplets of the ocean from heaven scenes. Falling to earth with no pedigree heavy roaring without a breeze.  How could it be? To be known and never heard? To be heavy and ignored? Take notice and rid the heaviness of one’s own clothes How dark the day became with the setting sun.  How soft the rain…

Music that resides with me: Forgotten by Lorne Balfe

I’ve listened to this song since I watched 13 hours in the movie theatre. It has been with me since I joined the Marine Corps and listened during many occasions. I’ve listened before and after lifting in the gym, while reading, driving to work and walking on the beach, after the greatest of times with close friends and…

300 meters

300 meters We didn’t swim a lot in our section of Marines. I saw the Marines confidence in the water compared to mine. I was not a strong swimmer swimming and saving individuals. I could swim on the surface with a lot of different strokes. I was doing my best to help them build the confidence and practice…

Father, Will You Teach Me?

Father, Will you teach me? I watched in idleness of your routine, hearing you wake and look in the mirror, and combing your hair and beginning. I wonder, what will you teach me today? Father, will you teach me how to put that frame on the wall or paint the wall of the pretty colors mom likes to…

Bildungsroman: Hercules Knight

Failure is the beginning of Bildungsroman He is at war with himself and no one knows how to help him. He fought, cried, bled, sweat, soul searched in the depths of loneliness. Where is his confirmation? where was his story going and how does he set a setting when there is no story he is living. I should…

2019, Recognizable Decline

“I kept dreaming, of holding her hand while carrying our child in a world that I didn’t want to raise them in. Preparing them to be the best versions that God needed them to be.”

Don’t Envy Me

“Take a step and notice the tears when I was in the rain near the shoreline with no one in sight.”

A reflection and reminder to myself to do my job in support of Marines

Marines, One Corpsman Kabul, Afghanistan August 26th, 2021 In our twenties and finally fighting for something we believe in. Seeing evil and became the Shepard in the face of wolves. We Know of a better life and we intend to share it with the oppressed As much as we are able to Being a part of history was…

Leaping And Broken Wings

Do you remember when you were about to leap into the unknown? You had confidence in your stride, abilities and wings to fly. One of the worst things to happen before a leap is to trip and break your wing. To wait is painful and not to see a dream unfold as it could be. Some say, to…

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About Me

Hi, I’m Hercules! I’m currently active duty in the Marine Corps. Aspiring writer, poet and philosopher. This is my creative outlet to dive into subjects I’m currently interested in and sharing musings that I want to look back on. All of the posts are “live”. This blog is for me to gather my thoughts and to reevaluate it as I go through my journals.

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